Satirical corner

Satirical Corner – November 2020

The corona virus is omnipresent again! This is already evident in the toilet paper index in supermarkets. The shelves look very empty again. Happy are those who have frozen a portion of their huge toilet paper stock from March! But nobody really wants a lockdown in bad weather. Most of us – including the Minister for Family Affairs Corinne Cahen – have meanwhile done every pedestrian circuit in the country.

To avoid getting worse, we just have to abide by the rules. For illegal parties in the forest, it’s too cold now anyway. In schools, they also have to keep airing, airing and airing the classrooms. You do not get the corona, but a good cold. And that has not hurt anyone yet!

In these dark times, another historic event provided some entertainment: the first digital CSV congress. The best opposition party of all time actually wanted to wait with their congress until the pandemic is over and its members are allowed out of the retirement homes again.

But because the virus simply doesn’t want to go away, they had to rely on the modern frippery and set up a digital congress. But who’s in charge in the CSV pool of sharks now? In the duel between Frank Engel (who is still party chairman) and Martine Hansen (currently still parliamentary group leader) there was unfortunately no clear winner. But another shooting star from the party emerged: Marc Fischbach from Mersch. Although he was not sure whether to sing or listen to the national anthem, I think he has a great future ahead of him in that party. In addition, father Galles brought back the “C” of the people’s party. In his sermon, he thus kept the few lambs happy who have not yet torn up their party membership card.

In Parliament, a long time MP has retired: Gast Gibéryen. You may know him from Youtube-blockbusters such as “Greens are getting expensive”, “How the Greens fool the Luxembourgish people” or “There has never been so much concreting sustainable green grass as under a green minister”. For those who miss his green bashing, only former Minister of Concrete Robert Goebbels’ readers’ letters, in which he regularly devours the greens, will remain.

Hopefully, the liberal group leader will be spared from that. Baum (German for “tree” for those not so fluent in Goethe’s language [mäin Zousaz, Y.]) wants to plant trees against climate change. Let someone else accuse me of bad word jokes!

Besides Corona, our country was confronted with other, even worse news: Fred Keup from Holzwee2030 has entered Parliament. He had to swear “fidelité au Grand-Duc” in French. However, he was well prepared, because he regularly reads “LeMonde”, as he emphasizes at every opportunity. In the coming years he will definitely strive for his ideals and try to achieve his greatest political goal: to give the new football stadium “Stade de Luxembourg” a Luxembourgish name! You have to set your priorities right!

Deelen:

Share on facebook
Facebook
Share on twitter
Twitter
Share on linkedin
LinkedIn
Share on email
Email
Share on whatsapp
WhatsApp

Weider Artikelen

Atert-Wark – the new local government of the DP in the north of the country

The municipality of Mertzig, with its mayor Mike Poiré, has joined the local government of Redange and the merger section Atert-Wark has been formed. Until 2020 the municipality of Mertzig was part of the “Nordstad” local section.

The former Redange section has been working together with the Rambrouch section for a very long time. For this reason, the Rambrouch section with its new president will also be presented.

Corinne Cahen

Interview with the Minister for Family Affairs Corinne Cahen

For the most part, the residents are doing well. However, I get told every day by older people that they never want to be imprisoned again. I can understand that very well. We will therefore do everything in our power to ensure that everyone can live their lives independently, including in retirement and care homes.

More renaturalisation and an improved warning system

The floods of the summer have hit our country unexpectedly. In comparison to neighboring countries, Luxembourg had the chance that no one was injured. However, dramatic scenes unfolded here as well, and the water caused enormous damage. All of this in addition to a corona crisis which, on its own, is already affecting many people and companies.